This past month, there have been so many things going on in my life. 1.) I lost my job, well, I was only a substitute and the actual teacher returned, 2.) I took a weekend road trip with my 3rd sister to see my 2nd sister at college, 3.) I attended the womens retreat for my church, 4.) I filled out paperwork to become a member of my church and 4.) I visited my alma mater and saw my wonderful sisters and my roomate.
I guess loosing my job wasn't the worst thing in the world, because well I know that God has a bigger plan for my life. Although I loved going to work each day, and I enjoyed what I was doing, I don't think I would want to teach computer music for the rest of my career. I miss teaching kids how to sing, I miss seeing the joy in their eyes when they find their voices and hearing the beautiful music that they can make. After loosing the job I've only had 1 real lead on another job and well just like the position I interviewed for last summer I came down to being one of two candidates and well, they took the other person. That first blow of hearing the interviewer telling you that you didn't get the job is just that a blow, a hard blow to the stomach. You start thinking about the things you said, and what could have been different, but then I have that feeling in my stomach that things are going to be just fine, I'm going to have a job exactly when I need a job and in the exact school that He wants me at. Meaghan, you just sit back and enjoy the ride that I'm going to take you on.
Do you have trouble with that? I sure do, I am a control freak. I always want to know what's coming next and where my next paycheck is going to come from, but these last few weeks He's been reminding me constantly to stop worrying. While at JMU this past weekend I attended a bible study with my little sister, beth. I'm pretty sure the topic was just for me. It was about worrying. We looked at Philippians 4:6-9 which says. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things [are] noble, whatever things [are] just, whatever things [are] pure, whatever things [are] lovely, whatever things [are] of good report, if [there is] any virtue and if [there is] anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you."
This passage really got me. I mean, I've been saying that I'm not worried about anything especially money, but really guess what, I was lying. I admit it! I want to be able to do things like see my friends, go out to dinner, support my friends in ministry and not have to worry about it, but I'm a sinner, and I worry. So, this whole passage was a kick in the face for me, but it also brought me peace. I know that God has His plan for me and that I can't mess them up! He has my best interest in mind and really, truthfully, honestly His plans are a lot better than mine will ever be! How awesome is that? This God of mine, has plans for me? really? He cares for me? Oh, yes He does! He has proven that to me over and over and over again! So, then why do I still not trust Him? I'll tell you why, Meaghan wants control. Did I already say that tonight? I think I did! HAHA, so that's it, I always want to know what's coming next and I think that my plans are better because I know what's going to happen, but really I do enjoy mystery and not knowing, (maybe just not when it regards my future). But, this is one of my sins that I'm having to constantly confess, that I try to hold onto my life has hard as I can! So, here it is, I'm giving you permission to hold me accountable to it, to letting go of this. Thanks in advance!
While on my trip to JMU, I got to see my roomate and let me tell you I was so totally excited to see her. When she knocked on the door to our hotel room I literally jumped up and down! We had not seen each other in 10 months, and let me tell you, that is way too long. Before that we had only gone 4 months without seeing each other and that was only because of summer vacation. So, I can't tell you how excited I was! We squealed for a little bit, and fell back into the normal roomate routine! I had to laugh because we both were sitting at the table in our room on our laptops and of course we were on facebook! HAHA, it's as if nothing ever changed. It's as if we were still living in the same house. We had a blast of a weekend! Hitting all of the best places in Harrisonburg, discovering new ones and reminiscing about the last four years of our lives and how much we've changed and haven't changed, what we've missed and what we don't miss!
I must admit though, that the highlight of February next to seeing all of my favorite people was leading worship at my church's women's retreat. Oh man, what an experience. Let me just tell you that I was a train wreck the day of. I felt like I had to do everything myself (what did I tell you? CONTROL FREAK) but my youth pastor knew way before hand that I couldn't do everything and he offered to help (I did try to convince him that I could do it all...hahahaha...what a joke) and I can't tell you how thankful I was that he was there to help set up all the sound equipment! I know that I wouldn't have been able to do it without him! So, Josh if you ever read this, THANK YOU X's 1,000.
Friday night's worship set was just alright, I was still pretty wound up and not really sure how this whole thing was going to go, but let me tell you Saturday morning the Spirit just showed up! It was so stinking awesome! I can't even really describe it! I was so at peace with everything, I was actual able to worship while leading worship. All of those hours of practice were not for nothing. I was able to close my eyes, and focus on the what I was singing and it was sweet! Oh man, I love playing my guitar, although it's been neglected for the last week. The whole weekend was just awesome. The speaker was great, and everything that the committee planned was awesome! I must say that the highlight of Saturday night was the "Sisters" act from "White Christmas," Emily and Kathy were great, but it was John and John who really stole the show. I never thought I'd ever see my Pastor sing and dance to "Sisters" but it was hilarious!
Well, that's enough of my jabber for one night! Wow, this post was all over the place! I'm sorry, but if you've made it to the end you're a trouper!
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